I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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