Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
