Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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