i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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