maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
