I accidentally burped into my bong.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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