it was like his penis was on wheels.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
