how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
