I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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