i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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