It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
