Having a random hookup so left but love u
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
