The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
