What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize