he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize