i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
