At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
