Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
