don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
