Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
