8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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