yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
