I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
