Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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