Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
