3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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