What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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