im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
