I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
