hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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