I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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