In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i've created a new STD.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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