dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
