Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
