He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
