I murdered the dance floor call the cops
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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