her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
