sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
