Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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