One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
