You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
