So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
