like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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