it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
