she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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