just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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