it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
