Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
