I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
