yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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