I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
