She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
jump out the window naked night went bad
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