remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize