Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
