dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
