I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
