just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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