Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
the raccoons are back...
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