two words: eviction party
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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