Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
