I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
