im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
