I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
