Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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