If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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